Maples for President 2020

In light of yesterday's election, I wanted to dust off this blog to officially toss my hat into the ring for the presidential race of 2020. 

That's right: Trump's nomination has proven that you don't need any of the following to be President of the United States of America:

• Experience
• Maturity
• A fundamental understanding of basic issues
• A decidedly American worldview
• Any appreciation for democracy
• A firm position on anything
• Calm temperament
• Respect for anything other than heterosexual white men (white lesbians are obviously cool, though)
• Morals
• Religion (If you're a Republican, religious values are inconsequential. If you're a Democrat, you're probably a Kenyan Muslim)
• Respect for veterans
• An economic plan that is anything but disastrous for the middle and lower classes of citizens
• Recognition of America's enemies
• The ability to heed the information of those more informed than yourself
• Restraint
• Goodwill
• Sympathy for the nation's needs
• Patriotism
• A general base in reality

I CAN DO THIS. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THIS. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING DOOMED IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR ME: AMERICA WILL BE REDUCED TO ASHES BY MUSLIM EXTREMISTS WHO HATE CHRISTIANS AND LOVE ABORTIONS, GAY MARRIAGE, AND SOCIALIZED HEALTHCARE.

I KNOW IT. YOU KNOW IT. EVERYBODY KNOWS IT.

Freedom For All

"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed. It is so ordered." -Justice Anthony Kennedy reading the Supreme Court's gay marriage ruling, striking down state bans.

Congratulations to those that have been waiting for this decision, as well as to America itself, for finally climbing another rung on the ladder of human advancement.

All are welcome, and all are free.

Punish the Weak

I saw an interesting statistic on Reddit today that showed just how many more prisons than colleges we have in the US. Here's my take in its most simplified form, along with other ways in which we beat down those who are already down.

The issue is that American bureaucrats, (most of) the super-wealthy, and fiscal conservatives aren't really fiscally conservative and unfortunately, they control everything. They sure as shit don't mind spending incredible amounts of money on prisons and punishment (or wars; they never seem to mind using our highly-expensive military to dispatch "freedom" all around the world), but don't want to spend money on rehabilitation or prevention in the form of higher education. This is what baffles me about both liberals and conservatives.

Mike's Guide To Civil Rights: Protesting

OK, OK. I know that I recently posted a blog issuing my full support for those protesting the law enforcement system. In light of that, this post may seem like me doubling-back on my words. Trust me; that is not the case at all. But between protesters tearing Missouri apart with rioting, looting, and violence against their own community and people blocking roads near malls during the holiday season just to get someone to listen to them chant the same seven or eight words ad nauseum, I think it is safe to say that we as a nation have entirely forgotten how to protest.

Mike's Guide To Civil Rights: Law Enforcement

In light of the most recent police shooting of an unarmed person in Orlando, I think it's time for an overhaul. By this, I mean a nationwide overhaul of the way we police our citizens: the technology, the procedures, the protocols, everything. Across the US, we are seeing an unprecedented level of violence and harsh tactics being used by police against the population.

The escalating use of excessive force, as well as outright police militarization, has reached an apex. This is the kind of stuff that starts revolutions, people. But we don't need a revolution. We need to change police culture, and American culture while we're at it.