American Homeowner

This is a letter that I just sent to my HOA. I am posting it here as a sample of what to expect for all of you would-be home buyers out there, as well as an example of how you probably shouldn't respond to an HOA.

Simply put: don't buy a home in a neighborhood with an HOA. What they purport to contribute to the neighborhood almost never outweighs the personal freedoms (and money) that they strip from you. Mind you, the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Read on...

Therapy, vol. 2: Pumping Brakes

Someone I know simply loves being in relationships. So much so that I call her "Shoe Horn," because she will force anyone kind of reasonable into the position of boyfriend as quickly as possible just to avoid loneliness.

This is an excerpt from a conversation we had a while back.

Me: So you guys are boyfriend/girlfriend already? Monikers and everything?

Friend: Yep.

Me: Good thing you eased into that one.

Therapy, vol. 1: Masochism

I used to think that people came to me for advice because I am easy to get along with and talk to. I'm just like one of the girls! Meaning, I'm gay. Just kidding, mom and dad!

Now, I lean more towards the idea that people come to me as much for advice as to confirm that when they might be having a problem, there is someone out there who has a knack for bad decisions, good insight, and communication. See also: someone who has a more disastrous path through life than they do. Me.

This is the first post in what will be an ongoing collection of conversations with friends bouncing shit off of one another so that we can better understand ourselves. I should have done more with my life.

(sigh)

The following is the middle of a conversation with a friend who, at the time, was having a hard time getting over an ex. Texting, calling, etc.