Therapy, vol. 3: Crux

I'm a big sissy when it comes to being alone. That said, I have entered many relationships in my life and considered "the M word" with a few of them (only pulled the trigger twice... just to be sure). Here is what I've collected about marriage over the years.

I am the product of divorced parents. My parents were only married for a few years before calling it quits when I was four years old. Both went on to marry the people that they are still married to today, more than 20 years later. 

So why do people stick it out in horrible, unhappy marriages? I got advice from someone one time, and their words were as follows:

"It will work out. [It] just takes strength and trust in yourselves, and everything will fall into place."

Followed immediately by a quick bit about their own relationship:

"I am just waiting until his family dies before I make my final decision [on divorce] as the amount of money I will get half of. Sounds sad, but I won’t have to worry about money again and could retire earlier than 65. That’s for sure."

So basically, fuck it. It's a crapshoot, anyway.

Therapy, vol. 2: Pumping Brakes

Someone I know simply loves being in relationships. So much so that I call her "Shoe Horn," because she will force anyone kind of reasonable into the position of boyfriend as quickly as possible just to avoid loneliness.

This is an excerpt from a conversation we had a while back.

Me: So you guys are boyfriend/girlfriend already? Monikers and everything?

Friend: Yep.

Me: Good thing you eased into that one.

Therapy, vol. 1: Masochism

I used to think that people came to me for advice because I am easy to get along with and talk to. I'm just like one of the girls! Meaning, I'm gay. Just kidding, mom and dad!

Now, I lean more towards the idea that people come to me as much for advice as to confirm that when they might be having a problem, there is someone out there who has a knack for bad decisions, good insight, and communication. See also: someone who has a more disastrous path through life than they do. Me.

This is the first post in what will be an ongoing collection of conversations with friends bouncing shit off of one another so that we can better understand ourselves. I should have done more with my life.

(sigh)

The following is the middle of a conversation with a friend who, at the time, was having a hard time getting over an ex. Texting, calling, etc.

That Shit Is Gay

People need to stop using the argument that this is an issue that this affects or undermines their own marriage. By people, of course, I mean Americans. Mind your own fucking business and let gay people be miserable too. If a church chooses not to perform religious ceremonial marriage rites, that is their own business as it is a religious practice; their choice. However, states should not prevent those with the desire to marry a same-sex partner and enjoy the benefits that those of us who are married to an opposite-sex partner enjoy such as tax benefits, adoption proceedings, health benefits, and power-of-attorney, amongst much more. 

Our forefathers escaped religious persecution and established America and its associated Constitution, Bill of Rights, and so on. One of the things they thought of early on was the separation of church and state for issues just like this one. Marriage is a religious practice that is recognized by the government but not to be rendered by the government.

You want to talk religion and morals as they relate to marriage? Shit just got real.