The other day, I mentioned to my wife in a half-joking way that I'd love to be a stay at home dad. I was playing with my son at the time, tickling the piss out of him and chasing him all over the place. When I looked back at her after I said that, she looked at me as if I'd just told her I was gay. No, not with resigned expectancy. It was slack-jawed disbelief.
"No, you don't mean that," she said.
"I wouldn't be with you then," she threatened. I laughed, but saw in her face that she was totally serious. In her culture (Latin, Catholic) and many others, women rear children and men provide for the family, even if both parents have to work. That's it, no exceptions. If possible, the women stay home to raise the children. Even if a man is unemployed, he's not raising those kids; the woman must do her job of raising the kids.
What if the woman is more highly educated or is a more valuable employee? Should she not go out and find work because she's got kids to put in front of the TV? And why is it so insane to think that men might actually be able to raise a kid without fucking it up and burning the house down? Since when did men become completely unable to heat up chicken nuggets and play hide and seek?
For the entirety of my life, women have fought tooth-and-nail to be equal to men. They are as educated as we are, they are as capable as we are for most jobs (except pro football player and President), and are typically more motivated than men to succeed in their careers. So why is it a goddamn abomination that a man takes care of his kids?
I say that this is shit; women are just as fucked up and immoral as men and aren't any more qualified to stay at home and raise kids than we are if so chosen. Eventually, I'd eat a bullet due to sheer insanity as a stay at home dad, but this differs from women only in that instead of suicide, they front-load their partners with a day's worth of anger and frustration with their own lives. Men are much better at bottling that shit up and either exploding into a gun rage or dying of a massive stroke.
Something that many others have pointed out, but no one hears; women's lib has crippled men's lib. Women want to be the equivalent of Daywalkers; all of our strengths, none of our weaknesses. And men are the big, dumb, sexist pigs who keep them from reaching their true potential.
Granted, we are, and women in the workplace are still having issues. But as these women fight to get into the man's world, they still won't relinquish control of the roles they traditionally play. They are in the game for all or nothing. Where does this leave men? Unable to go home because society will demonize them as bums or shitty providers, and unable to thrive in the workplace because we have to share that too? Are we too dumb and brutal to care for our own offspring?
Conservatives say that the lack of vagina in front of the stove at home is what is leading to the immorality of modern society. Because if a woman isn't in the home to watch 'Maury,' while a kid is in his room playing video games, he's obviously going to become a homosexual school-shooting atheist. But is a man incapable of providing such care to a child? Hell, even dogs have an instinct to protect and care for young human children. We're worse than that?
You hear so much about "deadbeat dads" and "absentee fathers" nowadays, but this really only means a paycheck. If a guy is compliant with child support, you almost never hear that he's a fucking bum dad. Now, I can virtually hear the moaning anger of women & mothers saying, "that's not what we mean!" But it is and you know it. When my parents divorced when I was very young, the concern wasn't whether or not I'd seen my dad in 6 months, it was whether or not the child support check had arrived.
If you're a successful woman with a great career, would you marry a guy whose intent is to stay at home and rear children? No. "That guy is a fucking bum," is what you'd say. Number fucking one on every woman's list of qualities required in a mate is money or a good job whether they say it or not. This is the invisible trait above "sense of humor" and "honesty" that they won't usually say outright, but it's there.
Even more strange, a lot of these women tend to be freeloaders themselves. There's no doubt that you know some twentysomething \ thirtysomething female secretary or retail cashier or whatever job that only requires a GED that won't date a guy who doesn't drive a nice car or have the scratch to send her to the salon every week. Meanwhile, they have no plans on going to school, or even working harder in their current position to become, I don't know, head cashier or some such shit. They just sit and bide their time like a goddamn black widow, waiting for the poor sap with the fattest wallet and the ability to overlook the reasons for which this woman would want him (a hot woman's box invariably grants a male such blindness).
With the exception of those with soul-crushing confidence issues who'll date any schlubs that come along (such as me and my friends) so as not to be alone, women want a successful guy, or at the very least one with the ambition to be successful.
Don't listen to Beyonce and all of the other pop culture mind-control that is telling you to find a man to put a ring on it if he loved you or pay your telephone bills so then maybe you could chill. This makes you look just as bad as the pop shit that tells men what one of their 99 problems isn't and the appropriateness of attracting a female with the sweat dripping off my balls. Even Beyonce doesn't believe her own shit; she didn't need Jay-Z to get rich & famous. She just knows what broke-ass women want to hear.
Funnier still, some conniving women (and this is an extreme minority, so cool out) will even do devious things to "trap" a dude into staying with them. I'm not saying pregnancy because it takes two to tango as it were, but you know what the deal is without me saying it. Imagine if men did that? That's called unlawful confinement.
Here's the clincher ladies; the exact same things you like about us are also traits in a woman that are attractive to men. Ambition and success are at least as sexy as a killer little black dress and red lipstick.
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No man of sound mind wants some woman who "aspires" to be a stay at home mom. Striving to be unemployed is not an attractive quality. Men tend to want women who want to better themselves on their own merits rather than better themselves by marrying someone better than themselves. I also understand that 90% of men think with their dicks only, and I can't speak for them as I only think with my dick half of the time.
These guys don't really care why a woman is with them as long as they are, and it is these guys who lack confidence themselves. The guys who end up with a woman who only wants to raise their kids or spend their money aren't any more interested in these women than the women are interested in them. Funny how no one sees this as the domestic equivalent of a mail-order Russian bride.
Don't get mad at us dudes for treating you like an object when you have spent the better part of your life fashioning yourself into one. You will get whatever you are worth, just as men will.
Listen, if circumstances dictate that a couple is financially stable enough on one salary and allows the situation for the woman to stay home then sure, why not? But not because that's all she even planned on/aspired to do. For me personally, though, even in that situation, I'd want my woman to say, "OK, but as soon as the kid starts school, I'm going back to work to kick ass."
If for no other reason, then what are you going to do when the kids aren't home anymore? You're a middle-aged nobody who has developed absolutely no valuable skills to contribute to the job market. And when your husband gets laid off or fired? What then? You can bag groceries or flip burgers while he searches for a new professional-level job, meaning you contribute enough to eat at Taco Bell for a week. There's no room in the workplace for someone whose skill highlights include:
- Physical prowess development from minutes of "horsey" rides.
- Capable vacuum cleaner operator
- Avid reader of People magazine
- The ability to color within the lines
- Skilled "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" guesser
- Ability to clean vomit in less than a minute
- Expert Teletubby translator
We don't need to churn butter or sow our own crops anymore. We don't wash laundry by hand and in most cases, the dishes either. Women are weakening themselves by touting homemaker as the most difficult job ever. Really? Are you fucking serious?
That's why I want to be a stay at home dad. I can eat bowl after bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and watch Batman: The Animated Series all fucking day. I can go play catch and kickball. I can watch internet porn for the entirety of my kid's 2-3 hour nap. When my wife comes home, I want to be able to bitch about how hard my day has been so she can feel sorry for me and do shit for me to make me feel better. However, the stuff I'll want isn't "a nice hot bath," and may or may not involve lubricant. I'll take this existence over working for a living ANY. FUCKING. DAY. Just tell me when I can resign.
Listen, being a parent isn't easy, no matter which parent you are and no matter who stays home or doesn't. Stop congratulating yourself for being unemployed under the guise of raising children. God knows that a stay at home parent is priceless in teaching kids the particular values and standards of the household in which they live. But God also knows that it's not the hardest job in the world.
Stop treating men like it's their sole responsibility to bring cash into the house and that's it. Fathers who don't participate in their children's lives beyond a financial contribution really get on my fucking nerves, but we are conditioned from birth to this exact end with this perpetual cycle. Hey, change a diaper, asshole. Play. Tickle. Read. Cook dinner. Clean. Walk. Set a fucking example.
My dad is an excellent one and spent a lot of time with me, especially during the years when I really needed it. He also worked A LOT. So did my mom; she's on a professional level that few people, man or woman, will ever reach in their lifetimes. Neither is a shitbag for not staying at home to raise me 24/7 and I'm not a shitbag because they didn't either.
Believe it or not, men can very capably take care of a kid, kids, and/or a household just as well as a woman can go to work. Unless the job is being President.
Leave that to the boys, sugar tits.
